Latest Dream

  • Trump's Twin Daughters

 

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Love Trees

Love Trees

A scroll drops through my mail slot. As it unrolls, it reveals tree after tree. At the very end is the word LOVE.

Golden Gate Bridge

Golden Gate Bridge

I go to San Francisco, knowing full well that you are also going. I arange to be crossing the bridge wearing a beautiful purple dress, just at the moment when I know you will be there. I hear you say JOAN WHAT ON EARTH ARE YOU DOING HERE? I turn around and feign surprise. Oh hi, I say. I like to travel.

John Stamos Gets Married

John Stamos Gets Married

John Stamos falls in love with an extremely pretty Hispanic girl at the party. She turns out to be a boy. They get busy in the elevator. John enjoys himself very much. Later, they get married.

Amsterdam

Amsterdam

It is very hard being in love with you in 17th century Amsterdam. I want to wrap my arms around you, but it isn’t socially acceptable. I DO IT ANYWAY. It is raining, and I squeeze you so tightly that you drop your wallet. You say EVERYONE IS WATCHING and you try to pull away. I can smell the wet wool of your sweater. I refuse to let go.

Toothpaste

Toothpaste

I worry that I haven’t brought enough toothpaste to jail to last us through our life sentence. Sometimes they let us sleep together on a narrow couch, where we hold each other tightly. After you die, I try to hug a guard who looks a little bit like you. He is nice, and lets me.

Axl Rose Tattoo

Axl Rose Tattoo

It is 100 years ago and we are in love. I have a tattoo around my wrist that says : WHAT I DON’T KNOW WHEN I KNOW IT IS HOW I KNOW. You plan to get the same tattoo, and add a secret second line you won’t show me. That line would turn up in a song by Axl Rose 100 years later.

Paper Hearts

Paper Hearts

We shave our heads, and go looking for a place to have a drink. The bar we find is run by the Russian Mafia. We order drinks, but find out we were supposed to bring our own bottles. In the corner, a girl is drawing caricatures of customers on large paper hearts. They are very popular, and she is doing brisk business.

Clog Ring

Ring

I want to give you my father’s ring. It is gold, with a flat black stone. When I give it to you, it sprouts a large, silver pod-shaped lump where the stone should be. Upon closer inspection, the pod is a wooden clog made of pure silver. Engraved along one side is a message from some friends who had brought it back from Holland as a souvenir. It isn’t my father’s ring.

Forty Years

Forty Years

Your brother is buying an engagement ring. You make fun of him, because it is stretchy and made of silver stars. But then you stop and GASP because on the shelf beside it you find the perfect ring for yourself. It is made of turquoise beads, and it covers your entire ring finger. It is absolutely enormous. You buy it on the spot, and swear you are going to wear it for forty years.