Latest Dream

  • Trump's Twin Daughters

 

Dream Slider


 

Open House

Open House

My mother and I go to an open house, where she sits down and falls asleep. I am uncomfortable with the way the furniture is laid out. I wake her up so we can rearrange it.

Pleather Skirt

Pleather Skirt

A tiny old lady tries to take a black pleather skirt from our cart at Value Village. I tell her NO and I attempt to take it back, but she holds on tight. I crouch down and look right into her little blue eyes. I say : WHAT WOULD YOUR MOTHER THINK? She lets go of the skirt and scuttles away.

Stepmother's Cell Phone

Stepmother's Cell Phone

At the family reunion, all the cool cousins are sitting at a table in the far corner of the garden. I sit with my stepmother. She shows me how to crop pictures on her new cell phone.

Gregory Peck Wears Shorts

Gregory Peck Wears Shorts

MY MOTHER :
Gregory Peck is coming over later.

ME :
Is he still alive?

MY MOTHER :
Well, he was 7 years ago. And anyway, he wears shorts now.

Eyebrow

Eyebrow

My mother comes out of the bathroom with one enormous black eyebrow drawn on. “HOW DO I LOOK?” she asks

House on Fire

House on Fire

My grandmother is not dead. We set fire to her house on the ground floor. As the fire starts to spread, we go upstairs to gather our things. When we come back downstairs, we notice that the fire has put itself out – but there is a fair bit of damage. Ever the pragmatist, my grandmother says that we should probably get started with the repairs.

Syst-Must Moans

Syst-Must Moans

In Vienna we visit an avocado-themed nightclub. A guacamole river runs sludgily through the dining area. People dip things in it. The chef has a black eye, and the busboys are naked. My mother is taken aback. She says she will sit at a table near the back, if I want to dance. I reply that I can’t dance because I have a bad case of the Syst-Must Moans.

Cube Truck

cube truck

The children are locked into a cube truck. The driver gives the truck a push and it tumbles down the hill. It lands upside down, partially submerged in the river. One mother runs to the truck, lifts it out of the river and sets the injured children free. She gathers her own child tightly into her arms. The truck is covered in snow. I scoop some off the roof, and put it in my mouth.

Plastic Wrap

Cling Wrap

My mother and I stand beside the bed of a dying old woman who stops breathing and turns green. We unroll six feet of cling wrap. It keeps clinging to itself; it is extremely difficult to keep it flat. Holding it by the corners, we place it carefully on top of the old woman – who starts breathing, and turns pink. We pull the plastic back off. Mom balls it up and hides it behind her back. The old woman sits up and asks us what we were doing. NOTHING, we say.

Land Shark

Land Shark

A shark is rushing around my apartment. I bash it over the head with a chair until its jaws pop out. It swims out my window. The disembodied jaws keep coming after me, so I call my mother. She picks the jaws up between two fingers with a paper towel and stuffs them into a jam jar.